Today is Valentine’s Day. And like many of you, I will be spending it alone.
I mean, I won’t be completely alone today. I’ll go to work and interact with co-workers and clients, and I’ll likely have dinner with my parents tonight. But I won’t have a boyfriend or husband who will send flowers to me, do something special with me, or profess their undying love for me.
Like every other single Christian, I’ve been told that singleness is a gift and, in some cases, better than marriage. But it truly is my heart’s desire to fall in love, get married, and start a family with a faithful and godly man. I would be lying if I said my heart doesn’t sink a little every time I see someone I know getting engaged, married, or pregnant. But there are no possible marriage prospects in my life at the moment, and it appears that my heart’s desire is not on the horizon of my near future.
However, there are some Christians who believe that they can make their hearts’ desires come to fruition. They think that they can manifest, declare, and claim their desires in Jesus’ name, and all their wishes and dreams will come true. This is based on one of the most misunderstood, misinterpreted, and misapplied verses in the Bible: Psalm 37:4.
Psalm 37 is a wisdom psalm that was written by David. The psalm assures readers that they need not fret over evildoers who appear to prosper in this life, for they will soon be judged for their wicked actions. It also encourages those who read it to remain faithful to God, for they will surely be rewarded.
Verse four is the verse where today’s Bible readers tend to get tripped up. It says,
“Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4, ESV
You can see where an interpretation of this verse could go sideways. It sounds like it’s saying, “Well, as long as you love God and have faith, then He will give you everything you want.” Want that guy to fall in love with you? You just need to love God. Want that big job promotion? You just need to have enough faith that God will do it. Want that fancy car or the designer clothes? You just need to be a good Christian and tithe to a specific church or ministry. And when someone doesn’t get the boyfriend, promotion, or material things that they so desired, they begin to wonder if they love God enough, if they’re a good enough Christian, if they have enough faith.
These kinds of thoughts can derail, depress, and even destroy a believer. All because of a simple misunderstanding. It is true that the verse calls us delight ourselves in the Lord, but what does that even mean? Thankfully, the psalm elaborates of what it means to delight. It is more than just a feeling of love or appreciation. Delight is an action.
Verse three tells us that we must trust God, be faithful, and do what is good:
“Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.” Psalm 37:3
Verse five commands us to commit our lives to Him:
“Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.” Psalm 37:5
Verse seven calls us to be still and patient before the Lord:
“Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;” Psalm 37:7a
Verse twenty-seven teaches us to turn away from sin:
“Turn away from evil and do good; so shall you dwell forever.” Psalm 37:27
Verse thirty-four urges us to obey God:
“Wait for the LORD and keep his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land;” Psalm 37:34a
And throughout the entire psalm, it’s made clear that the one who delights in the Lord is the one who lives righteously (Psalm 37:6, 16-19, 21-22, 25-26, 29-31, 37, 39-40).
What does it mean to delight in the Lord? It means that we commit our lives to God by turning from evil and obeying His Word. It means that we are faithful to always do what is good and right. It means that we be still before the Lord, patiently trusting that He will save us and judge the wicked. And as we delight in the Lord, He makes our desires more and more like His own. Pastor Dean Inserra once wrote about Psalm 37:4—
“It’s not that He gives us what we desire; He actually gives us new desires so that we find ourselves wanting more of Him, and what He has for us, making us more like Jesus.”[1]
Much of what we desire is good, but our desires quickly become idolatrous lusts when we make them more important than God. Our desire for a romantic relationship turns into a lust for intimacy. Our desire for a job promotion turns into a lust for money or success. Our desire for nice things turns into a lust for other people’s possessions. But none of these lusts or idols satisfy. Only God does. So, when we delight in Him, when we obey Him, when we trust Him, and when we do what is right in His eyes, He changes us to desire the only thing, the only Person who will truly satisfy us: Himself.
Perhaps you’re spending Valentine’s Day alone, like I am. Or perhaps you feel underappreciated at your job or at home. Or perhaps you think that if you just get that one thing, then you will finally be happy. Whatever it is that you desire, it will not satisfy you. Only God can. If you’re feeling sad, alone, or unsatisfied today, I encourage you to delight in the Lord, to follow David’s advice from Psalm 37. And God will draw You to Himself, work in your heart, and exchange Your worldly desires for godly ones.
“The steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the LORD upholds his hand.” Psalm 37:23-24
[1] Dean Inserra, Getting Over Yourself: Trading Believe-in-Yourself Religion for Christ-Centered Christianity (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2021), 91.
