A couple years ago, I saw an Instagram post about a Christian women’s conference that had recently happened not far from where I live. In the picture, there was a wall full of cards attached to strings with clothespins where the women attending the conference could take pictures. On each card, there was a different affirmation – I am enough. I am radiant. I am chosen. I am a masterpiece. I am valued. I am victorious. I am captivating. I am redeemed. I am cherished. I am adored. I am worthy.
Do you notice a theme running through all these phrases? They all focus on “I.” They’re not focused on God. They’re not focused on the Bible. They’re all focused on who “I” am. This infatuation with the self is becoming increasingly popular in the Church, especially among Christian women. When women shout these Christian-sounding phrases, they believe that they are helping themselves and other women like them to be free of the guilt and the shame and the trauma and the low self-esteem they’ve struggled with. But, as Lydia Brownback writes in her book Flourish, this self-focus is not as freeing as it appears.
“When we begin and end with us—with our self—we miss the heart of the gospel and never truly find the freedom for which we ache.”[1]
Obsessing over what others think about us does not bring us freedom. Analyzing how we feel does not bring us freedom. Concentrating on fixing or improving ourselves does not bring us freedom. Engaging in self-indulgence or self-condemnation does not bring us freedom. Focusing on how we’ve been hurt, offended, or victimized does not bring us freedom. So, what does bring us freedom? Lydia makes it clear in her book that the only thing that can bring us true freedom is Christ Jesus.
“Fixating on ourselves never accomplishes what we hope it will, so we need to let go of it and fixate on someone else—the Lord Jesus Christ. God’s Word—and true biblical teaching—is all about him.”[2]
Throughout her book, Lydia guides her readers into digging into the Word of God and discerning how our self-obsessed culture is influencing our Christian lives. Instead of worrying about what others think about us, we must trust what God says about us. Instead of improving ourselves, we must die to ourselves and allow Christ to transform us into His image. Instead of relying on our feelings, we must rely on the truth of the Bible. Instead of indulging ourselves, we must be self-controlled. Instead of condemning ourselves, we must remember that Christ has paid for our sins. Instead of playing the victim, we must realize that Christ suffered a lot more than we ever will and that we have the hope of a better future. It is only when we take our focus off ourselves and look to Christ that we can truly flourish in our faith.
“As we become biblically equipped to distinguish between self-love and Christ-love, our walk of faith will flourish, and we’ll find the abundant life Jesus promised.”[3]
Flourish is a short book, but it is filled with so much truth! It covers six different ways we tend to focus on ourselves and how Christ sets us free from this self-focus. Plus, it includes a thirty-day study guide for those who want to dive deeper into what the Bible has to say about the freedom Christ provides for us. I really enjoyed reading this book, and I think it is an important read for every Christian woman out there. If you’ve ever wanted the tools to be able to discern whether the Christian teaching you’re receiving is Christ-focused or self-focused, you should definitely pick up Lydia’s book today!
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[1] Lydia Brownback, Flourish: How the Love of Christ Frees Us From Self-Focus (Wheaton: Crossway, 2019), 80.
[2] Ibid., 14.
[3] Ibid.
