Women in America are increasingly unhappy. And nobody quite seems to know why. After all, women have more rights and more opportunities than they’ve ever had before. Yet, women still feel unsatisfied, unfulfilled, and simply unhappy.
And when women feel this way, our culture tells them that they just to practice a little self-care. You just need to go get your nails done. You just need to go do some yoga. You just need to say no to others. You just need to focus on yourself. While these things may provide a modicum of relief, discontentment sets in soon afterward. What is the problem? Why are women so unhappy? In her book Enough About Me, Jen Oshman suggests that the problem is that women are focusing on themselves too much.
According to Jen,
“Self is the Siren that keeps nonbelievers—and even believers—from lasting joy.”[1]
Like the sirens of Greek mythology, relying on and deifying the self lures us towards our own self-destruction. In the book, Oshman surveys the various views of the self that have been prevalent over the last several centuries and how none of them have provided the true freedom and joy that women long for. The only remedy to our condition is turning to God.
“Enough about me. And enough about you. If we want to keep running, we need to run on the fuel we’re made for—God himself. We will indeed be restless until then.”[2]
Enough About Me looks at how we fit into the big story of the Bible. We were created in His image and for His glory, designed to be fueled by God, not ourselves. In fact, the Fall occurred when we humans thought we could be like God and tried to take matters into our own hands. But God made a way for us to be restored and find joy when we return to Him.
What does it look like to turn away from ourselves and turn to God? We root ourselves in the gospel when life gives us more than we can handle (and it will!). We trade the spiritual candy of me-ology for the spiritual meat of theology. We recognize that we are prone to wander and practice prayer, confession, and being self-controlled. We trust that God is in control rather than trusting in the choices we make. We die to ourselves and work towards our sanctification, for no one drifts towards holiness. It is only when we do this, it is only when we turn from ourselves and turn towards our Creator that we can find true joy—
“God calls us to root ourselves in Christ Jesus the Lord, to be built up in him, and to be established in him…When we do that, we will find the lasting joy we’re looking for.”[3]
I loved reading Jen Oshman’s book, and it was one of my favorite books I read in 2021. It has short, accessible chapters, and each chapter includes reflection questions at the end. This hyper focus on the self is a big problem that I’ve noticed not only in the culture but also in the church, and I believe every Christian woman would find Enough About Me both insightful and encouraging. If you’re looking for a new book to read, I highly recommend this one.
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[1] Jen Oshman, Enough About Me: Find Lasting Joy in the Age of Self (Wheaton: Crossway, 2020), 144.
[2] Ibid., 48.
[3] Ibid., 22.
