Without communication, a relationship will never survive. I’ve had many friendships fade away because I just lost contact with them. And the same is true with other kinds of relationships, too. Marriages that lack communication often end in divorce. Miscommunication between bosses and employees tend to result in missed deadlines and uncompleted tasks. Parents who never communicate or cultivate relationships with their children are often estranged from them later in life.
Our relationship with God is no different. While a lack of communion with God won’t end in divorce or loss of relationship, forsaking practices like prayer and Bible reading can hinder one’s fellowship with God, making them feel like God is far away from them. Bible reading is a fairly straightforward discipline, and it’s rather easy to recognize how God speaks to us through His Word. But many Christians struggle with prayer. Who do we pray to? When should we pray? What should we pray for? Even people who have been believers for years are asking these questions, and all of them and more will be answered in this Prayer Basics post!
Who do we pray to?
Prayer is essentially a conversation with God. But who exactly are we talking to? The Father? Jesus? The Holy Spirit? Many, if not most, Christians tend to begin their prayers with “Dear God” or “Heavenly Father.” This is reflective of the many Bible verses that instruct us to pray to God the Father (Psalm 5:2, John 15:16, Ephesians 5:20). However, there are also instances in the Bible of people calling out to Jesus (Acts 7:59, 1 Corinthians 1:2), and New Testament believers were commanded to pray in the name of Jesus (John 16:23) and in the Holy Spirit (Jude 20).
It is important to remember that the God we serve is a triune God, which means we believe that the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are all equally the one true God of the universe. Because we believe this, we can cry out to any or all of the members of the Trinity because they are all God. Jesus is our mediator and intercessor (1 Timothy 2:5, Hebrews 7:25), and the Holy Spirit speaks for us when we don’t know what to say (Romans 8:26) as we pray to our God in heaven (Matthew 6:9).
When should we pray?
Growing up in a Christian home, I was always taught to pray before every meal and pray before I went to sleep every night (but I’ll be honest—I usually would wake up in the middle of the night or in the morning and realize I fell asleep before I finished praying!). What does the Bible say about when we should pray? Paul made it clear throughout his letters that Christians are to pray at all times (Ephesians 6:18), constantly (Romans 12:12) and without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17). While it is good to set specific times to sit down and focus solely on praying to the Lord, we should also be in constant communion and conversation with God, whether it’s the morning (Psalm 5:3, Mark 1:35) or the evening (Psalm 141:1-2), whether we’ve just woken up or we’re about to go to sleep, whether we’re about to consume a meal or we’ve just finished one. We should pray all day long—
“Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.” Psalm 55:17, NIV
Where should I pray?
Because we are called to pray without ceasing, that means we can and should pray in any place—whether we’re in the car, at the office, or at the dinner table. Jesus encouraged people not to pray in front of others, but to instead pray in secret—
“But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” Matthew 6:6, ESV
Now, this does not mean we can never pray out loud in a group setting. After all, Jesus often prayed in front of crowds (Matthew 14:19, John 11:42). Instead, we ought to be careful not to pray in a way that seeks attention and accolades from others (Matthew 6:5). Jesus set an example of withdrawing to private places to pray throughout His ministry (Matthew 14:23; Luke 5:16, 6:12).
What should I pray for?
We’ve all had a time when we’ve sat down to pray and can’t think of anything to pray about. What exactly should we be praying for? Prayer is a time when we share our requests with God and cast all our cares, burdens, and anxieties on Him (Philippians 4:6, 1 Peter 5:7). Specific requests can include asking for healing (James 5:16), wisdom (James 2:5), and strength to escape temptation (Matthew 26:41). We are to pray not only for ourselves but also for others, including our leaders (1 Timothy 2:1-2) and our enemies (Matthew 5:44). Additionally, we should pray for God’s will to be done and that our will become more and more aligned with His (Matthew 26:39, 1 John 5:14-15).
But our prayer time is not just a time to tell God all the things we want in life. He’s not our genie is a bottle that grants us all our wishes. He is the God of the universe who deserves all praise and glory. Prayer is also a time when we praise God for who He is and thank Him for all that He has done in our lives (Philippians 4:6), which is demonstrated throughout the book of Psalms. It’s also a time where we confess our sins and repent of our wicked ways (Psalm 51:1-2). When we pray, we ought to talk to God about everything in our lives—the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Why should I pray?
Perhaps you’re still wondering why it’s even necessary to pray. Perhaps you’ve prayed for days, months, years and have yet to see any answers from the Lord. But prayer is a necessary discipline for the Christian life. Why? Because our God is Yahweh, the great I AM, God of Israel, King of the universe, enthroned above the cherubim, creator of heaven and earth (2 Kings 19:15). He loves us with a steadfast, everlasting love and has delivered us from sin and death, even though we did nothing to deserve it (Psalm 86:12-13). We pray because God deserves it. We pray because the Bible commands it. We pray because Jesus demonstrated it.
Our relationship with the Lord is the most important relationship we can have, so we pray to cultivate that relationship and commune with our God.
How do I pray?
As we near the end of this post, I wanted to share some practical tips on how one can go about praying. In Matthew 6, Jesus demonstrates what one’s daily prayer time can look like. The prayer begins with praising God and praying for His will to be done. It goes on to petition God to provide for daily needs and forgive any present sins. It concludes with asking God to provide escape from current and future temptations (Matthew 6:9-13).
Many Christians like to use the ACTS method when they pray. They begin with Adoration and praise God for who He is. They move into Confession and admit any sins in their life. They then practice Thanksgiving, thanking God for all that He has done. And they finish with Supplication, making their requests known to Him.
Of course, you don’t have to use either of the methods every single time you pray. One day, your prayer may be full of thanksgiving, and another day may be full of confession. At times, you may only have a moment to share a request with God. However you pray, do so with faith (James 1:6), trusting that the Lord works everything out for your good and His glory (Romans 8:28). When you have days when you don’t know what to pray, remember that the Holy Spirit helps you and intercedes on your behalf (Romans 8:26). And it’s always helpful to dive into Scripture and see how the saints who have gone before you prayed to our mighty God—
“I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” Psalm 18:1-3, ESV
